Thursday, 29 October 2009

Spare Man Theory

As the weather gets damper my arthritis doesn't like it and so I tend to spend too much time in front of daytime TV. Whilst that is good from a crochet point of view it is not always good for my morale.

Today as I watched Loose Women they were chatting about the fact that every woman should have a spare man somewhere in their life that they could fall back on if Mr Right doesn't turn up. A friend to be a companion in your old age. That totally depressed me today as not only do I not have a man in my life I can't even think of a male friend who could step into the category of spare man.I have a few very interested married men who would love to step into the role of part time lover but that is a whole different story.

My recent would be romance seems to have withered and died before it ever got off the ground. I can't blame it on a date going wrong as we never got that far. I must admit though that although he was complimentary he was a tad elusive and didn't like the fact that I complained about his lack of attention. I am used to guys trying very hard to impress me with loads of phone calls and e mails etc. He blamed pressure of work for the lack of phone calls and the fact that there was a sea between us that prevented us dating easily but I am reading between the lines here and wondering if he was quite as separated as he said he was. Call me suspicious but I seem to have cornered the market in "separated" guys over the years whose wives had no idea they were separated and so whenever I see the word separated these days I immediately think are they separated by the width of the bed?

Another depressing fact on Loose Women was a discussion on the theory that in order to get ahead in show business and commerce then Sagittarians are the most successful. All fire signs have drive apparently. I am a Sagittarian so where did I go wrong? Is my drive in the wrong place? All I can say is given half the chance there is nothing wrong with my sex drive but I don't think that is what they are talking about! The answer came perhaps in the Alan Titchmarsh show where he was talking about Failed Potential Syndrome where you do not achieve what is expected of you. Aha I now have a syndrome to blame for my failure to make a success of the life expected of someone with my upbringing and brains. That's true of me. I chose not to take up the Uni place that was offered to me which could have altered the whole course of my life. I was a timid teenager and the thought of going off to Liverpool Uni, where I would not know anyone filled me with apprehension. I missed the Fresher Day as I was in hospital having my appendix out and so lost my allocated place in the Halls of Residency which just put the top hat on it as far as I was concerned. I would have had to find somewhere to live outside the Uni. If fate had not stepped in and burst my appendix I might have had a very different outcome in life. I meant to go the year afterwards but I had started work by then and thought that I was in love and so I never went.

Alan Titchmarsh then went on to discuss the Power of Positive Thinking and how that works on turning your life around.I have read books on this subject and do try to think positive but I have a very hard job convincing myself that I am a somebody. I finished both of these shows feeling more of a failure at life than I had done when I first got up this morning. There is nothing like a few 'cheerful' daytime shows to bring out my inner lack of self confidence. I need Gok to boost my self esteem.

I have finished the baby cardigans from the Kay Jones pattern 91. I had a lot of amending to do as the pattern is in 4ply and my wool was double knit. I don't have as many pattern row repeats and my frill is a bit too full. They are a bit of a hotch potch but I am sure they will get worn sometime.

I will take a few lines to say thank you to my regular readers who cheer me up daily with their comments. I will just mention the recent ones so please don't be upset if I don't mention you by name. Your contribution is valued if not mentioned today. First of all thanks to Jody Blue for visiting my blog and thanks to Onlymuttix for your comments on the Naked Crochet post. I thank you for the promise of mentioning the calendar on your blog and would love to read your blog so please leave me the link. I am so thrilled that you found my blog through it being mentioned on Google readers as a recommended blog. Maybe I am not such a failure after all.

June, I would love to go wool shopping with you sometime but alas we are not that blessed with good wool shops near where I live. I have quite a journey unless I want to shop on Bury Market or at Abakhan in Manchester. I wish I could turn back the clock and shop in my own shop once again. At least there I could have found what I wanted without searching the shops and the net.

I am off now to watch a bit more TV and to try asking the Universe to find me someone. Apparently you can't ask for Brad Pitt (such a shame) you just have to ask in general for the type of man that you want and he will appear. According to Noel Edmonds (OK I know he is a bit weird) it worked for him so I will give it a whirl. Watch out Universe this positive thinking Sagittarian with Failed Potential Syndrome is going to give you a shout tonight. I hope that you are listening !! Yeah right. With my luck the Universe will be out to lunch when I ask.

Maybe I am not a complete failure. Doris Chan left a lovely comment on Ravelry about the white Cinnabar cardigan that I made for Sylvia's birthday so maybe I can do something right after all. I just suck at love, romance and finding the right guy. Actually I don't think I am rubbish at love and romance I am just rubbish at the finding him part. Matchmaking hints on a postcard please.


June said...

Can't find you a man Jan, but I can say that you are an inspiration to me and many others who love reading your blog and seeing all the beautiful things that you crochet. xx

Queen Belicious said...

I'm with June.. You are gorgeous and wonderful.

because of that, I have given you the Ultimate MeMe award.. Something that is a lil bit of fun. You can see what I mean at

Keep on keeping on hon.

Mattenylou said...

Jan- I think you're great and have been reading your blog for almost two years. I'm impressed with how many wonderful things you are able to crochet in a week, and all look beautiful in the photos you post. I hope you are proud of your work as I'm sure the other readers are impressed, too.

Yes, it's nice to have a man around, too, so I hope he drops into your life soon. I think they usually show up when you stop looking, that was my experience... lol.

Anonymous said...

HI Jan,
You are the inspiration for alot of people and I read your blog everyday too and have for over a year... You do wonderful work and have such a marvelous personality that it lifts everyone up who reads your daily words... I look forward to "seeing" you everyday... Thanks and I will "see" you tomorrow, Lynn