A Fat Rant

As I am sure we have all put on a few pounds over Christmas I am sharing a You Tube video with you today. If you click on the blog title it will take you to a Fat Rant by Joy Nash. I so totally agree with what she is saying in this and her other You Tube videos. If you have the time just watch a couple of them. Any one who knows me knows that I have been struggling with a weight issue for the last 5 yrs. I had my spinal operation cancelled on me 4 times due to the fact that said I was morbidly obese. I am a size 20 now but when they said that I was a size 16, Overweight? Yes I will give you that as I can barely walk about so it is difficult to lose the excess weight but morbid? Have they seen some of the vast women in the streets and more to the point have they not noticed that they have a large amount of very overweight people working in the hospital. Hard to take weight advice from someone when their nurses and clerical staff weigh much more than I do. Put your own house in order first please and then you can tell me I am morbidly obese.

I have to go to the hospital in January and February and know that the minute I go through the door I will be criticized for my weight before they even examine me. I need a new knee but know they will say they can't operate on me at this weight. Come back when you have lost weight. Your BMI is too high. What I find amusing is that one of the specialists is less than 5 feet tall in his Cuban heel shoes and must buy his clothes at the children's department but I don't say to him why don't you grow and put on a few pounds. Is it any wonder he says he would find it difficult to operate on my knee. Jeez he must have to stand on a step to even reach the operating table. I might stand more of a chance if they employed full sized surgeons. When I had my carpal tunnel operated on privately the surgeon was a lovely burly Scot who looked like he tossed cabers in his spare time. I just wish that he did knees or I had the money to pay for an operation.

I am not defending my size. I am merely trying to point out to them - which came first. My problems or my weight. If they look back in their records I arrived at the hospital 5 yrs ago with back troubles and weighed 70 lbs less. Surely there is a clue in there somewhere. Hey this lady can't walk or exercise so she is gaining weight - not eating more just to piss us off! No they are not interested in why I am gaining weight only that I should lose it. I think if the NHS put a bit more money into helping me now before I become an obese statistic ( oh sorry according to them I already am one) instead of keep saying they can't operate on me because of my size. Round and round in a circle I go.

I am not a stupid person but yet I do have a bit of an obsessive depressive eating pattern, which has developed over the last few years, which I have explained to them on many occasions. I eat more when I am depressed and guess what makes me depressed? The fact that I am in pain and can barely walk. Hey geniuses why don't you listen to me? Giving me a diet sheet won't help at all. I know what I should be doing so just fix my body and my head will follow.

I am not hiding from the world in my photo. Just demonstrating that my nephew in law will be ready for the next bit of snow we get. I knitted him the Palindrome scarf for Christmas but it was a bit short so I have crocheted him another scarf, this time much longer, and made the Anarchy hat from the Stitch and Bitch The Happy Hooker book. I haven't made the hat as long as I don't think that he wants a hat with a brim. I will have to post it now as they have gone back to London today. Notice how the stitch changed the colour. The scarf is in UK trebles and the hat in UK double crochet.

I might pick up the sweater that I had started for Charlie before Christmas. I stopped knitting as the multi colour had pooled just under the neck on the front making it look like a huge chocolate stain. I will unpick it and try using wool from another ball for every other row to break this pooling up. I can't leave it looking like this even though I know that you can't always predict where the pooling will land when you are using random wool.