Wednesday, 6 October 2010
Cruel To Be Kind
I have to do my exercises. I know this and yet I shilly shally about and don't do them as much as I should. When the physio made me do the exercises in hospital I know that she was being cruel to be kind in the long run but it is so much harder to motivate myself into causing myself pain. I have constant arguments with myself on a daily basis but they still don't get done as often as they should. I am walking about a lot in the house and the pain levels are decreasing daily so I keep hoping that tomorrow will be the day that I can push myself more.
I don't want this operation to have been in vain and I want better mobility so why is it so hard to motivate myself into doing the exercises as often as I should?
The nights continue to be a trial. My knee hurts more when I try to sleep than it does during the day. I am now back on my prescribed pain killers as the ones that I got from the hospital have run out and to be truthful they were not doing me much good so maybe tonight I will get a decent night's sleep.
My crocheting is progressing very slowly due to my being Mrs Sleepyhead. The chunky crochet is a shrug for a friend in James C Brett Marble chunky. The pattern is basically a rectangle done in UK double crochet but through the back loops. Whilst this is easy to do I find it slow going and a bit soporific. I decided to start the white Blue Curacao shawl by Doris Chan as I wanted something to stimulate my brain. This is for a lady that I was in hospital with and as she has already given me the money for the wool I had better get it finished and sent off. I would hate her to think that I have just taken her money and am not going to make her a shawl. I only have her address to post it so I can't even phone her to say I have started it. She has been through a really rough time lately and it is her Birthday on Oct 21st so I hope to get it finished and posted by then. She has had multiple operations on her leg and is now attached to a metal cage with bolts that have to be tightened on a daily basis to try to lengthen her leg. Being in hospital makes you realise that the world is full of people far worse off than yourself.
My clips are due to be removed on Friday by the District Nurse so I may have more flexibility then. I have around 40 or so to be removed. They put clips close together rather than stitches to give the skin chance to heal even though the knee has to keep bending. They look funny. It is like someone went crazy on my leg with the office stapler. I am not bothered about scarring. Let's face it at my age I only flash my legs in my own garden in the summer, in the swimming pool or in the privacy of my own bedroom anyway I don't see operation scars as anything to keep covered up. They are part of life. I might feel differently if the scar was on my face and ugly. I have 3 small scars on my face since a teenager and they have never worried me in the slightest. The world puts far too much pressure on people to be body beautiful. I am glad that I lived in an age when I was growing up where people were not so cruel about anyone who was slightly different. Perhaps I was lucky but I never remember one instance where I was bullied about the way that I looked. We made fun of each other at school of course but only in a childish way and I don't think anyone was permanently scarred by any of the jokes.
I am having a bit of a slow start this morning. I need to get a shower and get dressed. My neighbour's cat came in earlier and will be fast asleep on the spare bed by now. There are 3 teenagers next door and I think Oscar comes in for a bit of peace. He will sleep until lunch, have something to eat, and then sleep until tea time when he will go home again. I feel sorry for him when Buster is here as he can't do any of that. The little black cat comes to my patio but I can't let her in as well otherwise there would be the cat fight from hell!