Watch out, there's a thief about!

The thief I refer to is, of course , unknown and living in Camden. No disrespect to the people of Camden as I am sure they only have the same percentage of thieves as we do in Manchester. It's just the place my soon to be "birthday girl " niece Kath was visiting at the time when some lovely person decided to steal her handbag. It isn't the possessions that were in it. It's the inconvenience and expense of replacing her phone, purse and of course cancelling her bank cards etc. Sorry you are having such a lousy run up to your birthday Kath.

Speaking of Kath the first photo is the lump of crochet that will hopefully one day soon be Kath's cardigan. The second photo shows that I did buy a red exercise book with the sole purpose of writing down my many adaptations of patterns. I started off OK and wrote cryptic "only I can understand" notes about the back and then I unravelled (re-designed) the front so many times that I lost the will to write. I then remembered that the front should have had a shaped bolero style curve at its front edge but guess what Kath - your second one doesn't have that as I have started the second front now and I don't feel inclined to unravel (re-design) once again. I will just tell her that I wanted the second jacket to look different to the first. Crocheters licence?

I will need another ball of the yarn so I am hoping that my other niece Vic ( otherwise known as yarn slave according to Kath ) will visit Ramsbottom and get me a ball (or maybe two) I also need some nice wool for my sister in law as she has hinted how much she liked the black crochet shawl that I made for her at Christmas and it is her birthday later in April so I thought it would be nice to make her another. I hope that maybe she will like a lighter colour this time. I love my family but 3 Birthdays in the same month it's like Christmas for a second time.

Perched on my red book is my new purchase. A pair of rather snazzy glasses in a sparkly red case. I went wild and bought them even though they stretched the budget by a whopping £3.99. I got them from the chemist and they will be a boon for the teeny writing that has suddenly appeared on all of my patterns and the newspaper. Yes I know I should visit the opticians but let me get my credit card bill back to a reasonable level first.

I got my letter from the hospital outlining the procedure for my back operation. I already knew what they planned but it just seems more scary seeing it written down in black and white especially the bit that says "this is expected to be a long procedure". Aarghh! There is also a bit that says I have agreed to lose more weight before the operation, Oops, so I did. I had better sew up my mouth quickly and stop snacking forthwith.

The last photo is of course Buster who is totally uninpressed with all of this photo taking and blogging and wants to know why we have not gone out for a walk yet. Sorry B but it's Loose Women on the tv in a few minutes so maybe after that?

I almost forgot. I got a message on Ravelry from someone who's blog I have been reading for ages and is on my favourite list. Thanks The Knitting Mama. I feel like royalty from the US has visited my site. I avidly read US blogs every day but rarely de-lurk (as they say in the US) to leave comments. I suppose I should as I am so thrilled when people leave comments on mine (Except for the ones I have to remove who leave links to bugs and trojans of course) Anything that says click here or there please don't do it before I have a chance to remove them.

To my blog friends in the UK who regularly leave me comments. Thanks so much. They make my day!

Maybe tomorrow I will get some answers

After some deliberation I decided to have a trial run of the shrug pattern with the unravelled mohair yarn. I am glad that I did because I am not that keen on the way it is turning out. It is very closely worked and taking forever to crochet. I should have known as the blurb that came with the pattern said it was a slow growing pattern but worth the time spent. The main body is done with V stitch which is 1dc, 1ch, 1dc all into one space, and the flared edging is done with half trebles. I am sure I have gone wrong quite a few times but luckily the mohair is forgiving and hides a mutitude of sins. I am going to use another pattern for the purple Sale wool I bought the other day.

After my walk up the hill in Ramsbottom yesterday I had a really bad back all Sunday and today when I woke up I was, to put it mildly, in agony. All fired up and tetchy I decided to ring the specialist's secretary one more time and actually got to speak with her this time and not the usual ansaphone. I think she realised I was in no mood to be put off any more times (my messages to ansaphone are never answered)and offered me an appointment tomorrow evening. It is 4 months since my 4th MRI scan so I think I am well overdue an appointment for the results. Unfortunately my niece is not able to come with me this time to be a witness. I have put on a bit of weight again (this was one reason he cancelled my operation over 2 yrs ago and then I got lost in the system and it took an MP's letter to get me back in the system again) so I hope he doesn't use this as an excuse once again to shelve doing anything with me. If he can't operate or feels it is going to make matters worse, as he hinted at last time, then he should tell me and then I know to stop hoping for a miracle cure and just get referred for pain management.

I am overweight. I don't try to make excuses for myself. I eat too much. I am a size 16 but then so are half of the women in the UK so I wasn't too pleased to be called morbidly obese when he cancelled my operation. He later denied saying this hence my need for a witness to what he says. I have got depressed about the whole situation that has been going on for 5yrs now without an answer. I am a comfort eater and as I am not as mobile as I should be despite the dog walks, water aerobics and seated exercise I haven't been burning off the calories I have been consuming lately.

People who are slim are so quick to say I could and should diet. I have dieted very succesfully in the past. The problem is that I can't stay dieted. Problems occur and I am in pain so I eat. I get depressed about all of this and I eat. I used drink a hell of a lot many years ago when I had marital problems (pre divorce) and although I was never quite an alcoholic ( I used to drink a bottle of rum a day) I found it far easier to give up the drink than dieting. The problem is that you can stop drinking and never touch another drop and all is well as the craving subsides. Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic and I can never really ever drink again. Dieting is not that simple. If I could give up eating all together and never have to taste food again then maybe I could do it, could lose the craving. I can eat sensibly and healthily, and I do, but even sensible food is fattening if you nibble away at it night after night. Knitting and crochet keep me away from food to a certain extent but in the end if I am depressed and in pain then the food comes out. Not chocolate or biscuits - I crave savoury - cheese on toast or something similar. I have tried nibbling on carrots but it must be the carbohydrates I crave for. I did once lose the craving for food but that was during my drinking days. People who know me now don't know I used to be an anorexic size 8 during that time. Food had no interest for me then - all I wanted was another drink. Pretty drastic way of dieting I don't think I will try that diet again!